back then, all i wished for was the courage to say hi to you in school and now we’ve been together for a month and there’s hardly any use for wishes cause you’re always better than what i wish for anyway.

it’s not everyday your favorite guy debuts in one of the more popular bars in the metro
#booked

was never the type to post super personal stuff especially when it came to things like this but here’s a post to the best boyfriend in the world.

For some reason, it took me forever to decide whether to post this on my wordpress or on my tumblr but then I remembered at how people actually looked at my wordpress for my work and the good side of my life, just like every blogger who already have and is still trying to make it but damn, there is no denying that life, even with its moments of pure awesomeness, isn’t always that amazing.

For a while now I haven’t exactly been the dark and twisty version of myself such that I am very much convinced that I’m a completely changed person but the past few days serve as proof that I haven’t truly been able to erase that side of myself. It’s not that bad, really, but I do prefer to keep the happier and carefree person I was before I started overthinking.

It is undeniable that a portion of my happiness can be attributed to the fact that I’ve been ignoring something, escaping something, avoiding something. In my denial, I faced my own truth and I had hoped that in my noble deeds, I’d reap the benefits of getting the same treatment because that’s how it is in the dark side. Do bad, get bad. And people wonder why the bad side is always so much more appealing? Jesus, the irony.

It doesn’t help either that I’ve just taken up the wonderful philosophy of Niccolo Machiavelli and realpolitik. I guess, the old me would have already acted upon these philosophies regardless of the casualties, even if it included me, for as long as I get what I want. But that’s not who I am anymore. I’ve grown much softer because I finally found that love is much better than power and getting my way. Though the idea of going back to my old ways greatly appealed to me, the fact that I vehemently rejected it from my system because I simply didn’t want to cause unnecessary pain even if it was a sure way to find answers means so much more to me than anyone will probably ever understand.

Oh jesus this is so difficult to deal with. Truly the worst demons to deal with are the demons brewing inside of us. Those fuckers.

a smile for my tiny heart

When the going gets tough, we get tougher.

(c) Poch Ceballos

What does it mean when you’re in constant fear of losing someone? Does it mean you’re simply paranoid of what could be? Does it mean you have security issues and it comes naturally to you? Or does it mean that that someone has actually become of great importance? And that scares the shit of you.

Plus for you! It makes it seem like they actually bother to read your replies and put thought into what they should say back. That makes me happy that they would pay attention and keep the conversation going. No one wants a boring reply back anyways especially those one worded replies. We hate that. Go for the long replies guys, us girls love it.

(Source: asteezzy, via kogatts)

CADs Christmas Tea-hee Party 2011 with my Azawa Bets San Luis and our anak Noel Narciso.
It’s a Merry Christmas